Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
