I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
