i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All I want is dick and wine.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
