You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
