So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
