i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
