is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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