Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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