I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
