Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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