New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
