so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
