Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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