So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
