I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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