why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
