in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
