I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
