OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We smell like vodka and hangover
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