fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
