I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
