you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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