Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think im going to throw up on grandma
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
