bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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