my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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