What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
