you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
