So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
