I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
