Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
so much tequila, so little girl.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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