i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
