The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
