I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
