you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
