I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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