Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Randomize
