Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
