It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
