Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
