I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
