my mouth tastes like poor choices
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
