He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
