did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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