I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
