Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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