The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
