Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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