I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My vagina is officially offended.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
