So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
