Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
