weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
