we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
