there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
They have beer where we have blood.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize