I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
