Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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