i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
