Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize