now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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