Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
