you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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