Buhtt sex?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
