Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
