Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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