Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
