So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
