Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
