I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
